Creating a ‘New Normal’

Yadawanka PalaJune 13, 2020

It may seem awfully selfish to write about such a happy family during a time like this, but if anything, the lockdown has left me with no choice. I have been stuck with my family for a good three months and I’m still surprised at how we have not torn each other apart yet. In fact, we have grown so close that we have created a family ritual.

My family and I take our tea very seriously. Mother likes her own brand of green tea while I argue to like another, middle sister takes hers without sugar while the youngest takes extra. Since we do not have to attend college, we choose to wake up at around eleven with no shame whatsoever. These days, we deliberately cut off breakfast from the menu and chose instead to extend ‘Brunch’ into endless conversations.

As we gather around the table, not the fancy dining table with matching set of chairs which we have chosen to completely ignore, but a small wooden table. Our family of four would settle cosily on muras* around the Table, bought by my late grandmother “for only five rupees”, as she would proudly say.

Huddled on all four sides, we talk about the day’s news headlines and each time the second sister (I’m the oldest) tries to substantiate it better. The youngest listens quietly because this is the first time she’s heard of it, and ends up getting a long lecture from the rest of us to at least follow the news while on social media. Most days we share reviews on Netflix Shows, convincing the other to partake on our favourites since we each have a genre we prefer, except for Money Heist which is a family favourite.

On some days Mother talks about experimenting with egg recipes, which is ironic since she is allergic to it and on other days, she raves about how much her best friend has put on weight just so she knows she’s not the only one. But on any day Mother is effortlessly beautiful, perhaps too beautiful for her age.

On rare occasions we turn the clock back to childhood stories and reminiscing embarrassing photographs, which always tend to be mine.

The previous day we talked about the stray cat which had just given birth. The youngest sister, having caregiver qualities, has made it her duty to find the kittens but sadly, even as I am writing now, she hasn’t been able to.

A lot of the time we talk about a supposed wedding in the family, the colour preferences of bridesmaids’ dresses; we talk about dreams and career options. Also, if we ever decide to work out of station, we’d turn our house into a holiday home.

We plan out the day’s busy schedule as well since my middle sister has been taking cake orders and I try to gather ideas and content for my YouTube channel. This leaves the youngest stuck between helping her bake and being my camera man. Simultaneously, when time permits, we also manage to throw in Tiktok videos and song covers in the mix as well.

In the midst of all the planning, when I am not annoying the family or trying to make them laugh, I listen to the arguments and the laughs that follow and I cannot help but smile, as I observe how energetic and loud we can be together.

Sharing stories in this gathering place has been an everyday ritual. It usually lasts an hour or two, depending on everybody’s mood and how far we choose to take the conversation. I know this might seem like an unproductive habit but I assure you, we do get things done. We’re four women living in a moderate size house, all playing their part to complete chores and if you do the math, it really isn’t complicated.

In all sixty minutes (or more) of our time spent sitting, exchanging conversations around the table, we have created another set of memories that may or may not be the topic of conversation for another Brunch Ritual. When the world heals, we would go back to waking up four hours earlier and having breakfasts in a haste. Only then we would look back at the quality time spent, the stories told, the arguments, the laughter but most importantly, the intimacy shared around that Table.

If that is what I would yield from this lockdown, and if it becomes my version of creating a “new normal”, then I believe that we, as a family are doing something worth staying in for.

*muras: traditional stools made out of hand woven bamboo.